Unraveling the Mysteries of Love Obsessions
This is a 3 Part Guide to understanding, recognizing, and breaking free of destructive love obsessions. First, what on earth are they? Do I have one?
Welcome, dear readers, to the thrilling journey into the tangled web of love obsessions. We’ve all been there – that heady, intoxicating feeling when love takes the driver’s seat in our lives. But what happens when it morphs into something less enchanting and more obsessive?
Love obsessions are like the ninja assassins of the romance world.
They sneak up on us when we least expect it. It’s when love transforms into an all-consuming force, dominating our thoughts, actions, and well, basically everything. Think of it as a roller coaster that never slows down. It’s thrilling at first, but then you realize you can’t get off the ride.
Then, there’s the false relationship; the fantasy relationship in your head. Picture this: you’ve fallen head over heels for someone. Your heart skips a beat when their name pops up on your phone, and you spend hours analyzing their messages. Normal, right? Well, not always. Recognizing a love obsession is like deciphering a secret code.
Symptoms include constant anxiety about the relationship, stalking social media profiles like an undercover detective, and a nagging fear of rejection. If your friends start giving you side-eye for constantly talking about your crush, it might be time to reassess.
Classic Symptons of a Love Obsession.
Let’s not forget the classic signs of love obsessions: obsessive daydreaming, relentless questioning of the relationship’s status, and a general feeling of unease when not in their presence. It’s like being stuck in a rom-com turned psychological thriller, and trust me, that’s not a good combo.
My heart was on the floor before I talked to Joyce. She gently picked it up with her words, and in detail unfolded the last 7 months of my life to a ‘T’. I am stunned. The sensitivity poured out and I didn’t feel anything but respected during a very difficult reading of the heart. She knew each word to say and picked up my spirit with her kindness and exactness of the situation. I am so grateful I chatted with her. I am thankful for her gifts and wisdom. She helped me into a new phase of transition and the depth of her words will not be forgotten. Thank you so very much.
Lisa L.
Step one, stop and breathe. Reflect. Ponder. Try to understand any impulses you may be having, like texting them again, checking your phone or their Instagram every hour, or replaying every damn detail of your last interaction together. These urges are part of a natural withdrawal process that happens after vivid fantasies that go unanswered. Don’t let yourself overindulge in obsessive behaviors like this. If you find yourself spending significant time in this frame of mind, it might be wise to reach out to a coach or therapist for support.
There a new buzz word for all of this, it’s “limerence.”
Limerence is a state of involuntary obsession with another person. It is a mental state of profound romantic infatuation, first defined in the 1970s by the psychologist Dorothy Tennov. The experience of limerence is different from love or lust in that it is based on the uncertainty that the person you desire, called the “limerent object” in the literature, also desires you.
When someone experiences limerence, the person who becomes the subject of their obsession is known as the limerent object (LO). The LO may have no romantic involvement with the individual who experiences limerence.
The bottom line, or reality is that mature, healthy adult relationships have no similarities to obsessions in any way. If you aren’t consistently dating, holding hands, talking as mature adults, and enjoying every interaction you have, something is wrong. Pay attention to the light bulbs going off. Use your inner strength and courage to recognize an obsession when you have one.
